Confirmation

When we started the journey of becoming foster parents, I knew that I needed Steven to be 100% supportive. Before he returned home from church that Sunday, I prayed that he would have peace. The peace that fell over me was unlike anything I have ever felt before. After Steven arrived home, everything was a blur. I remember him agreeing to go to the info session the following weekend. He said we could go forward and that we will walk in prayer throughout the process. All I REALLY remember was him NOT saying NO!

Steven is more of a logistics guy – “let me see how it will work on paper" kind of brain. We are the typical “opposites attract” couple. We are both dreamers in our own way. When it comes to Steven’s business, I am the string to his kite. I keep him from flying away or too far. But this Sunday, he had to be my string. I was a kite lost in the clouds ready to have 10 children in my home!

The next work week was going to be difficult. God specifically told me to leave my job at 12Stone. That was a very difficult pill to swallow. I loved my job! Plus we had student loan payments and I was not sure how we were going to be able to take care of kids, keep a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, AND pay bills. But i knew that God was calling me to my NEXT. We prayed that God would give us confirmation through other people.

Over the next 48 hours, God confirmed my NEXT three different times. The first confirmation was from a supervisor. I mentioned to him what God had revealed to me. I remember him being so excited for us. The second confirmation was from someone who had told me during our last conversation that my end job was NOT 12Stone. I was so mad. She said that she felt like God had something different for me. I could not understand why she would say that! Now a year later, I told her I was leaving my job at 12Stone to pursue foster care. Her face lit up and she said YES.

The third confirmation was God just showing off. Rewind to that Sunday. While God was opening up the flood gates and revealing His plans for us, I listed out ALL of my questions. ALL of my worries. ALL of my concerns. It was a moment of “I know you are God, but have you thought about XYZ?” I’m sure everyone has these moments, right? As if God hasn’t thought of it all. After I wrote my list, I told God “okay, all of these concerns and doubts are yours.” I told nobody about my list, not even Steven when we talked.

Part of my job in high school ministry was helping on ministry nights. My main focus was logistics and taking care of the volunteers. I thrived in this. It was the highlight of my week. At that time, only a handful of people knew about my desire to foster. On that particular night, I was running around as usual. In the middle of the chaos, a volunteer stopped me. She was crying. It threw me off. I wasn’t sure what was going on. Did she have an emergency?

Then she looked at me and said, "I have a word from God to give you. You might think I’m crazy, but I can’t shake the feeling that you NEED to hear this. God hears your heart. He hears the doubts you have written down. He knows the concerns you have BUT HE HAS YOU! The odds are against you, but He is bigger than the odds.”

As soon as she started talking about my list and doubts I knew her words came straight from the Lord. She didn’t know anything about what God was stirring in my heart. She had no idea how much her words impacted me that night. I walked away from that night knowing that my time in high school ministry was soon coming to an end.

In case I needed MORE confirmation - my mom invited me to see the movie Mully with her and my dad. Steven was working that night, so I went. It was a movie about orphans in Africa. I was already super emotional with how God was stirring my heart. I walked in doubting that a movie about Africa was going to effect me the way it did. In short, the story is about a man who came from nothing, worked incredibly hard, and had faith in God as he became a millionaire. When this man saw street beggars, he sold EVERYTHING he had to take care of orphans and neglected children. God used his family in miraculous ways! Go watch the movie trailer here! You won’t regret it. Just make sure you grab tissues!

During the movie end credits, statistics roll about orphans in foster care in THE UNITED STATES! *insert water works* God pressed so hard on me. This was it. Mully made me recognize the need and significance of what God was calling our family into. I left the movie theater in tears thinking about what God was stirring. I prayed that God would speak to Steven.

I was miles ahead of Steven on the foster train. I was not going to dive into this until Steven was caught up. The following Sunday, Steven and I attended a small info meeting with a local foster placing agency. We learned about how foster families are supported – GAME CHANGER! They taught us statistics: how many kids are need, how foster care is linked to sex trafficking, how to best care for foster children, etc.

All I could think was, "What dotted line do I need to sign so you can give me a baby!?" Steven had a different experience. This was the moment God spoke to him. We live in a little ranch home with 2 spare, unused bedrooms. God led Steven to ask, "What is our capacity? Are we using all of the resources we have been blessed with?” We had love in our hearts to give. We had been waiting for a year for God to give us children and the love was building in our hearts. We were about to explode.

We left the meeting and headed to lunch. We drove in silence. Steven asked me to play worship music while he processed. He couldn’t talk. Elephant tears rolled down his face. All he could muster to say was, “Yes. God is breaking my heart."

I had no clue what any of that meant...I did what any wife would do – I texted my mom Carolyn “IT’S WORKING! Keep praying!”

After Steven, Carolyn is my best friend. She knew what God was calling Steven and me to do. She’s a prayer warrior and had been praying for us during our meeting. We pulled into lunch and Steven cried harder. I smiled bigger. Steven and I were on the same page. On the same car of the same train.

We prayed together, hand-in-hand. Me smiling and laughing. Steven crying. We were in full surrender and walking towards foster care.